A visionary. A phenomenon. A pending software update.
THE MAIN
CHARACTER.
Welcome to the official portfolio of a person who has successfully turned oxygen into carbon dioxide for years. Innovator. Professional overthinker. Part-time chair tester.

100%
UNPROVEN
UNPROVEN
0BUGS FIXED IN REAL LIFE
∞CONFIDENCE PER PIXEL
1VERY CONFUSED LEGEND
A brief professional history
Skills &
achievements.
Advanced Napping
Can enter sleep mode during a conversation without warning. Battery saver champion.
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Has been thinking about starting something since the beginning of time.
Camera Awareness
Detects a camera from 3 rooms away. Immediately activates mysterious expression.
“I don't chase success.
It has my number blocked.”
It has my number blocked.”
References available upon request
Contact the
management.
Management is currently one unpaid intern (also him). Please allow 3–5 business centuries for a response.